The photo on the left, in black and white, was taken just weeks after John and I separated. I remember so vividly taking the photo; I had just gotten back from work and Daisy was extra snuggly. I firmly believe she knew something was changing and she could sense the tension in our house. I was initially crying, thinking about having to leave my sweet girl behind, but I so desperately wanted everyone to think I was okay. So I wiped away my tears, smiled, and I posted that photo. I remember changing it to black and white thinking it would hide the circles under my eyes better...but you can still see them...oh the magic of filters and phones.
The photos on the right, in full color, were both taken within the last couple months. You can see the physical change in my facial expression. My smile isn't strained, I'm not forcing my puffy eyes open, and I am radiating happiness. Because guess what...I'm happy! Right now, in life, I am unapologetically me and it feels fantastic!
Looking back, I wish I had allowed myself to be more open about my grief and healing process. It wasn't easy, and there were mostly bad days at the beginning. And even now, I still have hard days; I always will. BUT time is a beautiful thing and each and every day I progress further into true happiness. To everyone in the midst of any sort of grieving process...it is OKAY to be vulnerable. To anyone in a situation similar to mine, it is OKAY to be alone. It is hard at first, but it is infinitely rewarding to know who you are apart from another soul. Find yourself, so that it is that much better when you find the missing piece.