How do I feel?
See that’s a tricky question. You over analyze but I over feel. You see danger and the possibility of hurt. I see conflict, but then undeniable resolution. What if... What if... What if... You see, in “situationships,” as you say, I don’t automatically take the out. I find the tiniest crack to keep me in. How can we fix it? What can we do better? Divorce was never a part of my vocabulary. Don’t you see? I had no choice. But now, when I have a choice...I will chose love. I can’t live in a world of what ifs because my what if’s turn into... What if we have a kid, what will we name him? What if we survive, whose house will we live in? What if we find love, what will it look like in this unforgiving world? See, my what ifs are extreme. Your what ifs are important too, but I can’t live in them. That has to be you. You see all the worst possible outcomes, but I see the best. I want to live in a world of joy. I want to live in a world of wonder. I WANT to live in the unknown, but the good unknown. Like... What adventure will this weekend bring us? What happiness can one single daffodil bring to my day if it’s given by the right man? Will it drive you crazy if I lightly trace the outline of your lips with my hand? Trial and error, my love. How else will we know? But now, now is the time we have to decide. What are we willing to fight for, and what are we willing to push aside?
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AuthorRaveling myself back up again. Archives
December 2017
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